On brain fog
Hello and welcome to May I spoon you?! I hope this week finds you well and as always thank you for sharing this space with me.
Most of my to-do lists are written on post-it notes and the most important lists or thoughts are written on a post-it and then stuck to the back of my phone. This way, when I look down at my phone and I see the note sticking out from my phone, I am reminded of what I have to do. I have dozens of post-its pads at work and home. To me, post-its are the greatest invention ever. On particularly stressful days, I can use up to a pad of post-its. I wish I could say that my obsession with post-its is just an obsession but I heavily rely on them because I am just a forgetful person.
Being a forgetful person is not an easy thing to live with. It is not cute. The reality is that living with constant forgetfulness only induces my anxiety. I constantly ask my sister to “remind me to...” and while she does it can get a bit embarrassing to constantly ask another adult to remind you of the most mundane tasks that need to be accomplished. Routines are my jam, I need a routine to survive, and when that routine is disrupted, my brain gets weird.
I have been like this ever since I can remember. As a child, I used to write everything down. I relied on my journal and then my planner as I got older. Since 2020 was a different type of year, I did not use my planner as much. But now that things are semi-back to normal, I am starting to make notes for myself and reminders of upcoming deadlines. I have missed appointments, deadlines, and bill payments due to forgetfulness. Thankfully, once I remember what I had to do, I apologize and most have been very forgiving. I tend to forget birthdays and thankfully my sister is very sharp and she reminds me when a relative’s birthday is coming up. Yet, it can be a disappointing feeling because remembering should be an act that all humans should be able to do. I feel let down yet again because remembering is something I have to work hard at doing.
I never thought much of how this was related to my Lupus until I starting researching more about my condition. The Lupus Foundation of America describes this as memory fog/brain fog/lupus fog. It defines it as the phrase reflects the difficulty that you may have in completing once-familiar tasks such as remembering names and dates, keeping appointments, balancing your checkbook or processing your thoughts. Called "cognitive dysfunction" or "cognitive impairment," this inability to recall information can be extremely frustrating. Symptoms may come and go or be continuous, making school or work difficult or even impossible in extreme cases. People with both lupus and fibromyalgia are even more likely to experience cognitive problems.
While there is no cure, I have found the best action to tackle this is to have a consistent routine. I read a lot and that helps me stimulate my brain. I also color code, whether it is my journal, my post-it notes, or socks. I have always felt that color keeps me calm and helps me see certain things in order. While all this makes sense in my brain I can best describe my reasoning as a Pinterest board that lays out my daily functioning tasks.
As I researched this week’s topic I came across the NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information) and they stated that colour is believed to be the most important visual experience to human beings. It functions as a powerful information channel to the human cognitive system and has been found to play a significant role in enhancing memory performance. The NCBI goes on to say that color helps individuals with decision-making. This rings very true in my experience.
I have slowly learned that it is not something to be embarrassed about and for now, will continue to use post-its as my little heart (and brain) desires.
This week -
I wish I could remember (the irony, ha!) how I came across these matchsticks from Chronicle books. So far, I have three of them. I have the success, magic, and creativity boxes. They are part of the Spark collection and they have more than a dozen titles.
I plan to use them as part of my writing especially when I am stuck during a writing session. However, these little guys can do so much more. They are a pick-me-up whenever you need a wholesome reminder throughout your day. Just now, I pulled a match out of the success box and it reads: Learn from what scares you. Do something you’re resisting out of fear. I love them because they are similar to oracle cards. They guide your path. They also have a wellness box coming out in August, which I am very excited about!
Now, May I spoon you?
I previously mentioned I love color and the aesthetic. I wanted to highlight some of my favorite Instagram accounts that give me all the feels. Scrolling through them gives me a sense of calmness and inspiration. While my art is not the same as theirs, they allow my brain to wander. This week’s mention is @petrabraunillustration.
Finally, on Sunday (May 30, 2021) I purchased some of the books on my summer reading list. The first one I am reading is The Housewives by Brian Moylan (a recommendation from a friend). I plan to start it this week and if you also happen to be reading it or have read it please let me know what you think! Also, here is an article about the book and Brian on Town and Country Mag.
Thank you so much for reading, liking, and your messages! They mean the world to me. Stay safe!
This newsletter details my daily struggle with Lupus and what works for my body in order to help manage my condition. May I spoon you? does not provide medical advice. The contents of this newsletter are intended for informational/entertainment purposes only. Please consult with a medical professional before seeking new treatment and/or medication.