Your body, your voice
Hello and welcome to May I spoon you?! I hope this week finds you well and as always thank you for sharing this space with me. I have changed the format of my newsletter but just slightly. Please let me know what you think!
I recently came across this essay on Catapult. Ever since I can remember I have had a mild (or what I believe to be mild) case of OCD. As a child, I can recall writing notes excessively over and over again because my handwriting did not look right. I remember starting a journal and quickly tossing it away because I had written something on it, erasing it and hating the way the page looked after. Instead of ripping the page, which that itself was a gut-wrenching thing to do, I would throw away the journal. I don’t think I have ever used up a whole notebook. If my notebook is slightly damaged, I quickly toss it away. While there are hundreds, if not thousands of essays on OCD and anxiety the essay on Catapult was particularly interesting to me because it mentioned how the author’s mother dismissed her cries for help. I too experienced something similar to this as a child.
As a child, I experienced ailments that my mother believed to be remedied by home remedies. While I believe that she had the best interest at heart, these did not work. I was told to toughen up and even at times completely dismissed. As an adult, I choose to believe that this was my mother’s response because she did not know what to do. She was lost just as much as I was with my symptoms and unfortunately, this came across as dismissive. In her defense, I myself did not speak up. During my yearly check-ups at the doctor, I never told them that I was not feeling well. I did not express to them that I felt something was off. I was not prepared to discuss this with my pediatrician because it was not something I was taught to do. I grew up under the impression that doctors were right and they had all the answers.
This went on until my 20’s when I still had yet to question a medical professional’s diagnosis. It was not until I was told that my symptoms were due to depression and my weight. I was then put on medication to help my depression but that never worked. I was taking high doses of antidepressants that all they ever did was make me even more tired. I began to grow angry at myself for ‘having depression’ and ironically that made me depressed (but no the kind that I believe needed medication). I started learning more about patient advocacy and how your voice matters even when you don’t have an M.D. at the end of your name. It never dawned on me that I was the one that was feeling ill and I was the one who was in this body and therefore I needed to be the one that spoke up during doctors’ visits and fully explain my symptoms because I was the one feeling them. Now, I have no problem speaking up during doctors’ visits and I have no shame to ask them to spend more than 5 minutes talking to me during a consultation. This can be hard to do but remember that this is about YOUR body and your voice matters.
This week
On Wednesday, I set foot inside my public library. It was glorious. I am an avid reader and checking out books from my public library brings me immense joy. I am particularly excited about these two which received really great reviews. Â
Also, after doing a deep dive on papaya oil I came across this Etsy store. The prices are great and I chatted with the owner which provided some really great recommendations.
I made a small order and will make another one when my paycheck drops. My spots are darker than usual but that’s because I have been out in the sun. I am slathering on SPF but I have also been under a lot of stress which doesn’t help the situation. With every new product I try, I am hopeful.
Now, May I spoon you?
This newsletter is scheduled for Monday mornings so this technically happened last night. I care not for the Oscars and yet I do. Let me explain… Oscar night rolls in and I always happen to catch some of it. While I do not watch all of it, I tune in for what I believe to be the best categories to keep an eye out for; actress, supporting actress, makeup and hairstyling, and original song. I weirdly get excited when they announce Oscar nominations.
Check out this hilarious fail from Jimmy Kimmel for Oscar week!
I LOVE tuning in for the Oscar red carpet looks. My sister and I came to the conclusion that the 2005 Hilary Swank’s Guy Laroche navy blue dress is the best Oscar dress of all time! Runners up include 2014 Lupita Nyong’o and (my personal favorite) 2011 Cate Blanchett. I get the Sunday scaries (hello teacher subscribers!) and the Oscars provide a much-needed distraction. I am also curious about their setup as we are still in the middle of a pandemic.
I hope you were able to tune in and let’s discuss this year’s fashions. What was your favorite look of the night? Least favorite?
As always thank you for reading and subscribing. Your support means so much to me. Please, stay safe!
This newsletter details my daily struggle with Lupus and what works for my body in order to help manage my condition. May I spoon you? does not provide medical advice. The contents of this newsletter are intended for informational/entertainment purposes only. Please consult with a medical professional before seeking new treatment and/or medication.